Tag Archive: God


i don’t know what brought this change about, but for the past few days i’ve been pondering about the existence of a so-called creator “God.”  i’ve had similar moments before, but i think they were brought on by depression and an overwhelming feeling of helplessness.  This time it is different.  i’m just constantly on a search for the truth, and frankly, i would feel a little dumb praying to/praising something that wasn’t really there.  i stopped believing in a God with a shape/form a long time ago, but i left the possibility open that there may be something that is responsible for the creation of the Universe.

i know Jesus (and other people like him) were born to change this world, and have a strong spiritual presence.  So following him, and asking him for guidance seems okay to me.  But all that business of him being “the Way,” and the ONLY way??  That’s ludicrous!  Basically, you’re saying anyone who doesn’t believe Christ is the Savior is damned to Hell.  That’s ignorant talk, people.  And it doesn’t frighten me a bit.  Maybe when i was little, and full of fear… but now?  Not even slightly.

i’ve had the pleasure of meeting a lot of people from a lot of different religious backgrounds, and no one can tell me that their way of life is wrong.  If the common goal is to live an upstanding life, and to treat others with love and respect, then what could be wrong with that?

i don’t know… Personally, i’m pretty much over religion.  i love Buddhism – it’s the religion i feel most compatible with – but i’m cool on all the rituals and rules and things.  i really appreciate the scientific nature of so many Buddhist practices, though.  They teach you how to harness your own mind in a practical way; through meditation and other means, which to me is more effective than praying to God, “Lord PLEASE take this [sin] away from me!”

Most of our negative behavior is learned, and the source of all negative thought/actions lie somewhere in the human brain.  It’s Neuroscience.  If you have used spiritual means to rid yourself of negativity, then keep doing what you do.  It works for some people.  But if you are a religious person and you’re suffering from bad thoughts and things, look at it from the perspective of a psychologist.  Where are these thoughts coming from?  Don’t just blame it on the “Devil.”  i think there are negative spirits and energies that are kind of contagious, but i don’t believe in the Devil.

Furthermore, all these religious leaders who are preaching to others, but failing to rid themselves of their own iniquities?  i don’t want to hear from you.  WE ALL SIN, every single day.  And we all need to recognize our own power, and figure out our own problems, instead of depending on somebody to tell us how to do things.  We were born with an innate knowledge of life, and how we should live it, and we need to take advantage of it.  Mentors are great, but really, freedom and liberation comes when we can think for ourselves.

i could go on, but i don’t want to bore anyone.  Who’s reading this, anyway?  i don’t know.  i don’t know anything, but my best advise to everyone is to QUESTION EVERYTHING.  i won’t let anybody tell me what’s right and what’s wrong – i’ll judge for myself.

The Musician is GOD.

Life is so heavy, and all I see around me is pain and destruction.  My tear ducts feel like they’ve dried up so I can’t even cry.  Haven’t cried in months. And my skin is stretching thinner… and thinner… and thinner… until I can’t stand for anything or anyone to touch me.

But when I put this song on, I’m transported to a different place and time.  I’m happy here, and I couldn’t hate a soul in the world – not even my worst enemy.  I’m listening to god himself, and his voice is running through me, cleansing every part of my heart and moving to the deepest, darkest corners of my soul.

Others refer to him as Marvin Gaye.  But to me he is something else.  All of these musicians I idolize are something else. I swear I could not make it through if it weren’t for them.  When I’ve stopped feeling, I can come across a song that will give me hope and help me to see the beauty in life.

That’s what happened today.  I was listening to a mix CD with some Gypsy Kings, Marvin and Mariah Carey, and her song ‘Fly Like a Bird’ came on.  I could not hold back the tears, no matter how hard I tried.  And now I’m here, watching youtube after youtube of Marvin, Stevie, Jackson 5, and anything with James Jamerson, falling in love with the music and getting high off the purest, safest, most natural drug that was ever created.

So, to my beloved music makers:

I love you all so much.  I hope one day I can be just like you.  Like I’ve said before, I know everyone is fallible and I  don’t expect perfection from anyone.  We all make mistakes and we’ve all sinned.   But that won’t stop me from loving you with my whole heart.   Cuz you make life worth living…

That means YOU! Bob – Marvin – Stevie – Maxwell – Prince – D’angelo – Saadiq – Jimi – Sade – Chaka – MJ – Rahsaan… so many people I can’t name them all.  Not right now.  I have to get back to my youtubes and my happy place now.

Bonsoir mi gente.

p.s. I can’t wait to see the show in Seattle and I SURE can’t wait for July 7th.  And I will die from happiness when my D’angelo and Sade finally come back out with a new record!

Damn, I miss church.

It’s Sunday morning.  Where can I go to get the feeling I used to get as a youngster??  It was warm and loud and intense and the chills would run through my legs non-stop.  I didn’t appreciate it much then…I didn’t look forward to waking up and getting dressed on Sunday morning…but today I am longing to get up, get out and hear somebody blow in the name of the Most High.

Maybe I’ll call my cuz and go to Memorial with her.  It ain’t like it used to be, but it’s something…

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.